Monday, October 12, 2009

I've been thinking...

[insert obligatory joke here]

But really, I have. Been stomping around the blogosphere and wondering why do we all do this crazy thing?

For some, it looks like venturing into their creative side. Writing should, coulda, woulda been their career. I am guilty of this, sure. For four years I wrote religiously. I wrote about the girl sitting opposite me on the train, the boy frothing milk for my latte, every imagined slight and glance and songline and outfit.

I have notebooks FULL of ridiculous minutiae that I cannot bring myself to throw away. Or burn. Or lose. I think I've decided that if I destroy the evidence, it never happened. Dangerous and a little strange, because that's not the way I live at all.

I enjoy the discipline that choosing to write every day imposes on me. As one who's practiced an instrument most days of my life, this structure appeals. I can run away from it, I can embrace it. Sometimes I can hide within it.

Today has been one of those days. Teaching and reading and teaching and practicing. I'm working on Bohm's Moto Perpetuo; a quick little piece in double semiquavers. The difficulty is not the piece per se, it's the variation of the same piece that I learned to play when I was eight. Relearning it now... but not exactly the same... is killing me. Were it an entirely different piece of music, fine. It's the nearly-but-not-quite that sets my teeth on edge and, maddeningly, has me making the same bunch of hardwired, careless errors.

It's the same with everything, really. Those situations that are nearly the same but they're not. Advice on how to break out?

Oh, and I'm still sick. Advice on THAT welcome too. 


Girl Meets Gun said...

You have a comment, from me, somewhere in your blogs. I don't know how it got lost, but, you were my first 40th follower, and I awarded you something. And now, I can't find the blog I commented on and I feel ridiculous because- how do I lose a blog that I commented on?!?!?!

So anyhow, YOU WERE MY 40th FOLLOWER! Yay! So you should check out my second to latest post. I wrote about you and also the award is posted there. You may also email me at ncwitowski[at]gmail[dot]com to collect your other prize! WOO HOO! ...It's nothing big, trust me. lol.

I think we all blog on here because it is a way of KEEPING SANE IN THIS WORLD. ...That's why I blog. At least a little bit of what we experience will be locked in time and be proof that we, yes, we, lived in these times and survived so many different obstacles- even if it was only being attacked by the underwear in the dryer.

I'm sorry you're sick! I feel ya! Major allergies this way!!! Thanks for following. :)

mysterg said...

I'm not sure I can answer this except to say that my blog is a place where I can vent and record memories that I may later forget.

Anonymous said...

I'm with Mysterg on the recording of memories thing. Other than that, I guess I just want to reach out and communicate.