Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Fricking huntsman spiders.

So I get home from work and go to check my email.
No internets.
Nothing.
Nada.
Irrational panic.
Hubs left home this morning and will be gone eight days. EIGHT DAYS? I can't live without internet access for EIGHT DAYS!!!
I mean, what will I do if someone emails me and I have to give them my bank account details in the next thirty seconds or SOMEONE ELSE gets the thirty million loonies (canadian dollars)???
How will I check the weather and know what density jeans to wear? And if I should be wearing a singlet top underneath stuff (for brrrrr layering) or OVER stuff (because it'll warm up later and I am SO sick of myself wearing the boring of boringness)?
HOW???

In desperation I turned my computer off and on again. Nothing. I mean it connected to the network and all, but the joys of wireless are such that when it works, it's great. Invisible internetty goodness within my house = happy days. Mysterious network-showing-up-but-no-action-in-my-browser = unhappiness. Sadness. Shouting at thin air no longer occupied by hubs (aka chief geek who can fix all computer problems known to man. And to me, who just has trouble plugging stuff in sometimes).

But then! Aha! Bright idea! I will go DOWNSTAIRS to the portal of internet (that would be the cupboard under the house that houses all our webby stuff) and stare at it, willing it back into invisible health, wellbeing, and the ability to scrape information off the internet and feed it to my screen.
Hmmm.
There's a very large huntsman on the staircase.
Hmmm.

The last time there was a huntsman in the house, suzukisinger and I inhaled more flyspray than it did. then,laughing hysterically, belted it randomly with a newspaper, mostly missing. I think it died from drowning in puddle o'spray rather than contact with any hard surface. I don't really like spiders.

Ok. Newspaper. Armed with cylinder, snuck up on spider. Realised that squashing spider was going to make one helluva mess. (I was planning on hitting it rather hard, yes. No-one ever wanders around chanting "Concuss....Concuss... It's exterminate or nothing.) THIS is the bizarre part. Put DOWN cylinder, trotted back upstairs, fetched large plastic container and lid, trapped spider and set it free.

Hubs, if you're reading this, I deserve a very special present (yes, another one) just for that humane act. Not sure what came over me... but there's ANOTHER miracle to report. No mom, I am not pregnant. Put that clucky-grandchildy-thing away already. I THEN proceeded to the Cupboard Where All Things Internet Happen, wrenched it open and stared wretchedly for a little while. Lights went blip and blink and were completely incomprehensible. Yargh.

Of course, things can't get any worse. I am already internetless, so whatevs. Detached a cord that was plugged into a socket that said POWER which may or may not have belonged to the modem, counted to five, plugged it back in and shut the cupboard. Stupid cupboard. Sulkily stomped back upstairs, flung self on bed, demonstratively because it's all-so-useless-and-futile poked refresh a few times and -

HALLALUJAH!

Internets!

Of course, now I discover that no-one loves me. Sigh. Oh, the cruelty.

14 comments:

lindamciver said...

I am SO impressed. I know exactly how much courage it takes for an arachnophobe to capture a huntsman and take it outside. I remember spending an hour on the phone with a friend, when I was a teenager, while he talked me through killing one... but since then I've been taking them outside - with much shrieking and shuddering. I'm sorry, spiders are wrong, and huntsman are very, very wrong.

AND you fixed your own internet connection! You rock. :-)

You inhale books. You don't like spiders but take them outside anyway. You write. Are you *sure* we're not related???

Matthew said...

Please ma'am - the dog ate my comment.

omchelsea said...

lol - If anything, I'm sure we ARE; clearly there was some amazingly amazing mixup at the hospital w/ suzukisinger and I, but you MUST be a cousin of some sort somehow. Or something... Except I'm a short*&^#!

omchelsea said...

MATTHEW: You are kidding. Seriously.

lindamciver said...

You're not short! Maybe it's the bounce factor, but your smile seems a long way up most days. :)

Jay Ferris said...

Damn you for making me Google "huntsman spider". I would have been scared to hit one of those things with my car, let alone a magazine. But then you go and set it free? You must be like the Snow White of all things creepy.

hannahjustbreathe said...

Umm, I HHHAAAATTTTEEEEEE spiders. Like have a legit, paralyzing fear of them. It's ridiculous but ohhh so real. I can't even Google what these damn huntsman spiders look like but the name alone gives me the shivers.

I probably would have stood frozen on those steps, willing the spider to wither and die right there before my eyes. And even then, I don't think I could have gone near it.

In other words, you are one impressive lady.

suzukisinger said...

yes, yes she is impressive. And also very good at making vegemite scones (aka cheesymite scroll DIY's) I think the inhalation from the last hunstman hunting has somewhat quelled the fear...or perhaps dulled the sensation of fear! I would NOT have picked the rotten thing up either, I can tell you THAT for certain!!

Anonymous said...

Всем привет!

Недавно перед мной встала задача, куда деть накопишиеся [b]европоддоны[/b], или еще их называют [b]Паллеты[/b],
[b]Поддоны[/b], [b]Европаллет[/b]ы Размеры 800*1200, 1000*1200- Это [u]Тара Пром назначения[/u].
Немного предистории.
Сам я работаю кладовщиком на складе. Нам приходит много продукции на [b]Европоддонах[/b],
товар продаем а поддоны остаются, у нас возник вопрос куда их девать.
Раньше мы их выкидывали.
Потом мне подсказали, что за поддоны можно получить деньги.
Начал обзванивать фирмы везде были цены низкие,
потом друзья мне подсказали, что в Челябинске есть такая Компания "[b]Уралсклад[/b]",
около 10 лет на Рынке Промышленной Тары с прекрасной репутацией.
Я нашел их сайт в интернет - [url=http://www.uralsklad.ru]www.uralsklad.ru[/url] и позвонил по тел. +7(351) 233-07-14.
Буквально через час подъехал их представитель, Авто с Логотипом "[url=http://www.uralsklad.ru]Поддоны Челябинск[/url]".
Цены закупочные оказались самые высокие в г. Челябинске.
Все цивилизовано грузчики загрузили [b]Паллеты[/b] ешё и лом поддонов купили, расчитались на месте наличными.
Про другие фирмы я узнавал либо Цены низкие, либо Бракуют много, да и денег от них не дождешься.

Так что если у вас завалялись [b]европоддоны[/b], не торопитесь их выбрасывать, лучше обменяйте их на деньги.

Anonymous said...

All about shop-script
[IMG]http://s43.radikal.ru/i102/0901/37/7366b19ed2b2.png[/IMG]
http://shop-scripts.ru
Can it: modules, templates, sql DB and othes...
FREE all products :)
[URL=http://www.shop-scripts.ru]shop-scripts.ru[/URL]

Варез и нулл движка размещен не будет.:-]
В сети и так полно
Что касаемо модулей и прочего, берется материал из открытых источников. Если интересный материал имеет какие-нибудь непосредственное авторство или права, то только с согласия автора!!!
Тематика форума: Обсуждение работы интернет магазинов на движке shop-script, обмен опытом, тестирование новых или уже известных модулей, участие в разработке новых решений и/или дополнений для shop-script, использующихся в интернет-продажах.

[URL=http://www.shop-scripts.ru]shop-scripts.ru[/URL]

Anonymous said...

Hello. In a crisis, fell revenue from sales [url=http://rapira-mir.ru]rapira-mir.ru[/url] . Tell my what can be done. Thanks in advance.
Vsem privet. V uslovijah krizisa upal dohod ot prodazh [url=http://rapira-mir.ru]rapira-mir.ru[/url] . Podskazhite chto mozhno sdelat'. Zaranee Spasibo.

Anonymous said...

Welcome to Buy ghd Hair Straighteners at [url=http://www.ghdstraighteners--nz.com/]ghd Hair Straighteners[/url] New Zealand www.ghdstraighteners--nz.com Online Outlet With 30%-60% Discount Sale Price!

Anonymous said...

Moncler Outlet a large number of The Su Hongye in Chongqing something, can not return in,[url=http://www.giubbotti-moncleroutlet.com/]moncler outlet[/url] wrote that the daughter decide, so long as she said [url=http://www.giubbotti-moncleroutlet.com/]moncler outlet[/url] the research. the foreign flavor of the new people are very against [url=http://www.giubbotti-moncleroutlet.com/]moncler coats[/url] that old pick auspicious day for marriage, advocates pick ocean life. that the most unfavorable marriage Gregorian calendar in May, the Gregorian calendar in June is best marriage, but they are already engaged in June, the so extended to early September wedding. It is stated an excessive amount of focus on date,Monday 23 is a great day for marriage, especially on Wednesday; 4,561 days just like a bad day, the result is that they pick on Wednesday smiles: should have been that guy to leave Yuen Long Cao tricks. Mei smiles: short, you hate the ecu students, pattern names up. Chosen to obtain married that Moncler Outlet Wednesday, the elements is much like summer, hot interest. The way I needed, Jiao days Fortunately, today I didn't do groom. The church was air-conditioned, Ts wearing a black wool dress, too busy sweating, I believe he white collar with a ring, to obtain another yellow sweat soaked and soft. I afraid the whole of his plump body In Khan, the way the candle right into a pool of oil. Miss Su can also be tight ugly. line up at the wedding, the bride and groom smiling face, no expression of Ku Buchu, all unlike the dry wedding, but instead no, this is not on the scaffold, is really a, is, like Moncler Boots a public host to pickpockets signs with punishing those hardened criminals hard. I occur to believe that I own marriage ceremony, under those a large number of Kui Kui also like to be inevitable cracked pickpockets. That helped me realize the kind of joyful, smiling faces of happy wedding pictures were never come to. find! Great find! I am interested in would be to see how you like her the same day. avoided her to not see, just say a few words with Miss Tang - chien hop heavy heart that, like truck unloading the parcel the next smash gravitropic only strange Xinmei won't hear - was a bridesmaid the day, saw me and Moncler Scarf asked me to not fight, said the ceremony complete line, we sprinkle colored paper Fou new body, when, in support of I won't have hands, afraid which i go ahead and take opportunity to throw hand grenades, nitrate sulfuric acid spill. She inquired about later on plans, I informed her to visit Sanlv University. I think she may not want to hear your name, and so i didn't mention a word you.

more information you can go to http://www.giubbotti-moncleroutlet.com

[url=http://www.giubbotti-moncleroutlet.com/]moncler online store[/url]
[url=http://www.giubbotti-moncleroutlet.com/]moncler down jacket[/url]
[url=http://www.giubbotti-moncleroutlet.com/]moncler boots[/url]
[url=http://www.giubbotti-moncleroutlet.com/]monclare[/url]
[url=http://www.giubbotti-moncleroutlet.com/]moncler jacken[/url]
[url=http://www.giubbotti-moncleroutlet.com/]discount moncler[/url]
[url=http://www.giubbotti-moncleroutlet.com/]moncler uk[/url]
[url=http://www.giubbotti-moncleroutlet.com/]monclers[/url]
[url=http://www.giubbotti-moncleroutlet.com/]doudoune moncler[/url]
[url=http://www.giubbotti-moncleroutlet.com/]moncler jackets[/url]
[url=http://www.giubbotti-moncleroutlet.com/]moncler coat[/url]
[url=http://www.giubbotti-moncleroutlet.com/]moncler westen[/url]

Anonymous said...

top [url=http://www.c-online-casino.co.uk/]uk bonus casino[/url] brake the latest [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com/]casino games[/url] manumitted no store perk at the foremost [url=http://www.baywatchcasino.com/]no lay down tip
[/url].