Confession time.

I have a little secret: a compulsive addiction to fashion blogs. You know the Sartorialist?
I see a new post, I HAVE to click through. Ok, so I think the America Apparel ads are the weirdest clothes I've ever set eyes on (and I read a LOT of Vogue and Bazaar in my teenage years, and wore some incredibly peculiar stuff myself), but the photos that make their way onto this page are just... love. Or WTF bevelled with a little confusion and trying to understand exactly what was so attractive about THAT person at THAT moment in time.

Another sneaky addiction is more like having an ever-updated glossy on my dining table. I look, I explore related galleries, I get all wistful about the days when sewing a couple thousand copper paillettes was no biggie... but then I saw this and I now have to seriously reevaluate my commitment.

Apparently the couple are a couple, although their bony bodies conjure up little more than the idea of painfully colliding exoskeletons, and I can't say a guy who looks like David Bowie during his "Am I male? Am I female? Hell, let's aim at shemale and bleach everything to fairy floss while you're there!" is really working for me.

I haven't read any of the insanely popular Twilight series, but I'm aware there is a certain tension between Bella and Edward - something about vampirism, infection, blah blah, so on. Looking at this couple I can imagine the same kind of thing, except more of the "Oh, I want to make love to you, but the osteoporosis  might kill us both!" or "Sorry, baby, heroin's the only thing I can get it up for. Or get up for."

Actually, someone get me some heroin. Not for me. Let's just put the poor half-starved waifs out of their misery.

Oops.

Lessons I have learned today: you can have an old lady haircut and call it classic; an old lady dress - hello? It's vintage. You can even, with irony and grace, wear old lady shoes. But put all these things together and you simply look like a tragic twenty year-old who got lost in her nanna's wardrobe and didn't get lucky with Narnia.