Monday, March 8, 2010

You can't please most of the people... any of the time.

Dear teacher, 
 blah blah on behalf of the Suzuki Music Violin/viola committee. Blah blah at Autumn Festival Mrs. Suzuki will take a session for all violin and viola teachers focusing on the 1st and 2nd movements (esp.2nd movt) of the Telemann viola concerto in Suzuki Viola Book 4. This is for all violin and viola teachers, whether you have played viola before or not. You are encouraged to study the piece in advance of Autumn Festival and play it in the session with Mrs. Suzuki. If you prefer to observe during this session, that is OK.

Uh, HELLO? There are FOUR viola teachers who turn up to Autumn Festival. They are all ALSO violin teachers (of whom there are more like FIFTY-four) and gee, aren't there some really HUGE changes (like an ADDED piece, several DELETED pieces and a whole lot of exercises) in the new VIOLIN books? 
We should totally study a viola piece. Clearly. It's for the common good. 

The violin/viola committee and the violin/viola teacher-trainers hope that in this session the following aims will be achieved:

·       Improving your tone production on viola and violin.

Of course, because tone production on violin and viola are SO the same. NOT. In fact, the viola teachers have spent several years bitching and griping that not just anyone should think they can pick up a viola and play because it's TOTALLY different to violin. Yah. Take that, violinist who thought they were going to jump the C-string fence. 

·       If you are asked to teach viola, you will be more familiar with the viola Level 4 graduation piece (2nd movt, Telemann Concerto in G major).

Because there are about ten viola students in Victoria who are at this level, CLEARLY we need all the violin teachers (who can't play viola because they're not trained violists) to be capable of teaching said piece.

·       We hope that some teachers who attend this session will then play with the viola group in the Grand Annual Concert this year, when the Telemann concerto movement will be performed.

Because we are generally a teeny tiny group who needs our numbers artificially bolstered by teachers playing violas they can't play. Awesome. 

I am helping to source instruments so that everyone will have a viola to play in the session. I hope that some teachers may already have access to violas, perhaps through their school. 

How about "I can't play viola because I'm not fricking big enough? Ok, get me a three-quarter size and that'll be dandy, but then I have to lug two instruments around Festival for five days, learn a piece of music which will have little or no bearing on the well-being of my students, (while I still have a mountain of repertoire which needs correction/alteration) and no, my school doesn't have any violas because it's a government primary school and I have to fight for the privilege of teaching there."