THAT? BREAD? Don't make me laugh.

Hi. I'm Chelsea. I have a substance abuse problem.
It's the bread.

It's not like I'm a connisseur of those crazy light rye-sourdough-pastadura only slice on Wednesday loaves, or that I only eat homebaked bread. I like seedy bread. Soy and linseed, or four grain. Wholemeal's fine too. So long as it comes in a square (or has three squared sides) and will fit in the toaster/sandwich press, it's all good.

Which is why hub's purchase of some junky airy fricking CRUSTY white crap (which says a loud, clear HELLO concrete crusts post-toasting) which I can't cut into slices with structural integrity (read, it has AIR BUBBLES) has serious implications for my sanity. As in, goodbye sanity, have a nice vacation, I'll see you in a few months.

Of course, when the MAN handles the bread knife, he manages really nice, un-holey slices (because I already cut up the holey bit) .... until.

Butter.
Now, being something of a condiments nazi (ever tried spreading butter straight from the fridge? On room-temperature bread? No? Well, have a try and let me know how you get on.) I have my own butter. Pantry butter. Which, being pantry butter, is actually spreadable.

Not on this bread. Don't even mention the peanut butter. Having crunchy bits, that slice is tragic. The other sandwich (Promite, kind of like Vegemite but waaaaaay superior) is marginally better. And all the while I'm thinking Why can't you have just bought normal bread? You know, the kind we buy every other time we go to the supermarket? And if you thought "Hey, let's try this out!" then buy ONE loaf of this stuff and one of backup? You know? So if it just happened to be a load of airy white crusty crap it wouldn't be the end of the world?


I know what you're all thinking. Wow. She is so lucky. If that's all she has to worry about....
Actually, I feel the reverse is true. The one thing I might POSSIBLY be able to control about tomorrow is what goes in my mouth. The rest is really incredibly random. Which is why I like lunch to be a small pleasure in my day. I love nothing more than opening up the sandwich press on a small, golden, toasted piece of happiness. Knowing that my lunch will be good, will be under my control regardless of all the other random... well. The world could end tomorrow in an explosion of crumbs. You've been warned.

Parents: instruments: listen! Part 1.

If you're over me ranting, go away now. If your child learns an instrument or you know someone who does, read this.

Let me give you a little analogy:
You're learning to drive.
You have a bomb of a car.
It doesn't always start.

Sometimes the brakes don't work, and the accelerator doesn't always depress reliably. The steering can't work out whether or not it's power or manual, and the gears just sound weird. Like the car's about to die any second.
This is what playing a cheap (insert instrument of your choice here) is like.

Now imagine that you see your instructor once each week, for half an hour. When they get out of the car they remind you of the things you have to improve on.

In five minutes on Thursday you try to remember what they said on Tuesday. By Friday you've completely forgotten, but you drive up to the shops and, in doing so, practice all your bad habits again, because this car is hell to drive.

On the weekend it's just too busy to practice, so on Monday it's panic stations as you cram for Tuesday. Surprise, surprise. Tuesday rolls around and you're still a crap driver.

Your instructor is sad? Shocked? Resigned and disappointed? Angry? None of these are productive. You feel bad, you might promise to try and do better, but somehow, it all goes wrong again.

I'm going to bet that in the future, you will drive as little as possible, because it doesn't make anyone happy.

This is where the analogy falls down, as so few people in our society can function without their car. But bear with me. I'm trying to say that motivation is everything.

If you had a brand-new car that WORKED and was comfortable to drive, you'd learn.  If you could have a lesson every day (and therefore minimise the insidious bad habits) you'd learn. With progress and positive reinforcement a positive feedback loop is created, and referred to in the future when presented with a new skill to be acquired.
Conversely, a poor experience can easily create a mindset of incompetence and futility.

Oh, and you know how you service your car? Pay insurance, put fuel in, change the oil, buy new tyres, etc? Think of the instruments in your family like a car.